Love Is Fun

Last Monday, I posted some sad stuff. So this Monday? Happy, sexy stuff…that was inspiration for part of *the same book* last Monday’s post was about. I promise I won’t be somber on a Monday again if I can help myself.

Love songs are basically poetry set to music, and poems have (maybe an undeserved, faulty) reputation for being pretentious and highbrow, particularly poems about love. And some of them definitely are. Some of them are deep and full of complex symbolism and really, really serious, heavy themes, and that’s cool. I like a lot of those songs and poems. I’m a sucker for a good metaphor. I like language that evokes emotion. Love can be serious. Love IS serious and I wish more people took it seriously. I’m working on a future blog post about how people sometimes don’t take love seriously, particularly fictional love stories. They’re billed as an indulgence of some sort, one way or another, almost always.

There’s this strange dichotomy with love wherein, if a love song or love story isn’t pretentious and highbrow, then it’s written off as frivolous and silly and a waste of time and resources. Like…love is only something pretentious or frivolous people concentrate on or consider. Which is weird, right? Love expressed with creative language (songs, poems, fictional stories) is either taken UBER seriously and those focused on it are considered to be out of touch and idealistic and dramatic in a bad way, or it’s treated like a smarmy, insincere joke and those focused on it are immature and simpleminded and deluded. But I don’t think people who think about love a lot and express themselves about it are any of that. Maybe that’s self-serving. I’ll cop to that, I guess.

I’ll admit to moments of taking life and love extremely seriously. I mean, I write love stories. I take that writing seriously. I work hard on them. I want to make sure I’m addressing love in all its forms and the people I made up who partake in it with the proper dignity and respect. I honestly believe at this point in my life that it’s a calling to write them. And maybe that’s pretentious of me.
And I’ll definitely admit to being silly and weird and at times immature. Sometimes J gives me the giggles with a phrase…with a sent snippet of something off the internet that’s an inside joke…with a LOOK.
A lot of romantic fiction is taken up with grand gestures and these pained declarations of undying devotion, or klutzy, awkward heroes and ingenues messing up and falling all over themselves and each other for a date, a kiss, planning a wedding, whatever to get the laugh.
But most of the time? Love and romance is just…ordinary. It’s not always grave and serious, and it’s not always wacky and madcap either. It’s somewhere in between. And I don’t think ordinary equals ‘boring.’ I think there’s magic in the everyday and ordinary. It’s kind and thoughtful. It’s active. It’s real. It’s fun. 

And most romantic comedies I’ve seen either gloss over sex like it’s not really a part of adult romantic relationships, or they treat it like another joke to tell. The dramatic romances I’ve encountered make sex into this complicated metaphor. It’s often depicted as symphonic beauty or wrought with needful desperation, and in whatever kind of story it is, funny and lighthearted or theatrical and dignified, it’s usually not something a woman in the story particularly wants, other than to connect with and/or please some guy she’s interested in. If she IS into the physical pleasure…if she does want it for simpler reasons, she’s ‘easy,’ or wrong or bad in some way. A woman’s sexual desire is usually painted as a mistake or personality flaw in drama and it’s usually part of the joke in comedies. As much as I love romance and love, I kind of hate that about most romantic fiction. But sex is a release as well as a connection. Sex is fun. For women too. Really, I swear. Women want and like sex too. It’s part of love and it’s a fun part of love, and I don’t really see it depicted as fun in romance much, especially not for women.

Flirting is fun. Romance is fun. Sex is fun.

LOVE is FUN. The good kind is, anyway.

In my novel, The Transition Piece (trying really hard not to blatantly reveal plot here), Deanna forgets those good things…the light side…the flirty, fun, sexy part of love for a while. Or she doesn’t forget them, really. They just get buried under the seriousness and hardship of life. And then she meets Jake. And love becomes fun again. Not silly (although there are silly moments…I love the silly moments in love…good love can be silly, in my opinion). But fun.

So today’s love song, to me, is serious, but not too serious; fun and sexy, but not silly. I thought about this song when I was writing scenes between Deanna and Jake, and I kind of thought of it as the song playing in her head during them. I hope you all enjoy Janet Jackson’s That’s The Way Love Goes.

Like a moth to a flame, burned by the fire
My love is blind. Can’t you see my desire?
That’s the way love goes
Like a moth to a flame, burned by the fire
My love is blind. Can’t you see my desire?
That’s the way
Like a moth to a flame, burned by the fire
That’s the way
My love is blind. Can’t you see my desire?
That’s the way love goes…
Come with me. Don’t you worry
I’m gonna make you crazy
I’ll give you the time of your life
I’m gonna take you places
You’ve never been before
And you’ll be so happy that you came
Oh I’m gonna take you there, ooh
That’s the way love goes
That’s the way love goes
That’s the way love goes
That’s the way love goes
Don’t mind if I light candles
I like to watch us playin’
Baby I’ve got on what you like
Come closer, baby closer
Reach out and feel my body
I’m gonna give you all my love
Oh sugar, don’t you hurry
You’ve got me here all night
Just close your eyes and hold on tight
Oh baby don’t stop don’t stop
Go deeper, baby, deeper
You feel so good I’m gonna cry
Oh I’m gonna take you there, ooh
That’s the way love goes
That’s the way love goes
That’s the way love goes and goes and goes
That’s the way love goes
That’s the way love goes
That’s the way love goes
Don’t you know
Like a moth to a flame, burned by the fire
My love is blind. Can’t you see my desire?
Like a moth to a flame, burned by the fire
My love is blind. Can’t you see my desire?
That’s the way…
That’s the way love goes
That’s the way…
That’s the way love goes and goes and goes
That’s the way love goes
That’s the way love
That’s the way love
That’s the way love
That’s the way love
That’s the way love
That’s the way love
That’s the way love goes

fun

Happy Monday.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close