Sometimes world events and people just get me down. I admit that I’ve kind of been in that place lately. Down and frustrated and worried and fed up with…stuff.
I’ve written before that I’m not a person who’s at home being cynical, so when I’m faced with a barrage of negativity, instead of hardening myself to it, which would be the cynical thing to do (and honestly maybe the healthy thing to do), I get wrapped up in it. I feel it all. I get sad. I get anxious. And I usually turn to my life inside my house to regain some composure and a hopeful mindset. My life with J and our boy and our dog, regardless of what’s ever been happening in the outside world, or with the other people in my life…with work, with family, with friends, with the news cycle and how people around me respond to it…always lends me some calm and sanctuary from everything else. Home is my safe place. Home is the place where I can lay burdens down and be insulated from all the things that weigh on me.
When I wrote Blink, I knew some readers may question what Krista’s attraction to Jeff is. She’s a very capable, strong woman and even Jeff himself asserts that she would (and maybe even should) never be interested in him. He wonders what he could contribute to a relationship with her that she’d find valuable. Krista doesn’t need much practical support from a partner, though. She’s very physically strong. She’s brilliantly smart. She’s an effective communicator for herself and moving up in a difficult, highly respected career. But what she does need is that same thing J provides for me at home…calm and sanctuary. And Jeff gives her that. He’s her safe place. A place where she can relax and curl up and escape from the outside pressures she faces. A place that puts her mind and heart and soul at ease. He provides her a reminder of good things in her life and things she’s good at. He reminds her that all her hard work matters…that her frustration isn’t in vain. He shines a light on small things so she can appreciate and find joy in them when she feels the serious big picture she’s constantly focused on getting too heavy. He always listens and tells her that he’ll accept whatever she needs to share with him and help her get back to a more positive place. So she can go back out into the world with confidence to keep making a difference.
I basically heard Snow Patrol’s Chasing Cars in the background for the entire writing process of Blink.
So Krista needs that…someone to lie with her and just forget the world. To help her let things that are eating at her go, and slow down sometimes, and to realize that it’s okay to just sit around and ‘waste’ time occasionally. That sometimes that’s necessary and healthy for her to do. That she doesn’t always have to push herself so hard and constantly achieve and accomplish more. That she doesn’t always have to fight. That ‘wasted’ time still has value. Sometimes Krista needs a changed perspective…someone else to help her look at things from a fresh place of awe and gratitude instead of cynicism, because she’s NOT a cynic. She doesn’t want to be a cynic. She’s full of hope and optimism and thankfulness too. She just gets bogged down sometimes, and she needs the occasional assist to turn that around. She needs calm and sanctuary. And I need that too. I’m so grateful I have that with J.