The Honeymoon Phase

So Tuesday was our wedding anniversary and I’m a humongous, unrepentant sap, so I’m going to share other stuff I’ve written in other places (other blogs and social media sites…inside cards I’ve given J…) to and for and about J because…it’s my blog and I like beating dead horses. I like milking it. I like driving the point home and driving past it again and driving over it. I don’t have an anniversary date, I have an anniversary week. My goofy memory lets me relive my honeymoon every year and so, this week, you guys get me all ‘honeymoon-y.’ I seem to have a repeating honeymoon phase.

Here’s what I wrote for J on our 10th anniversary, 4 years ago:

Ten years can feel like an eternity, or like the blink of an eye, or, strangely, it can feel like both of those things at the same time. In this case, it’s probably because of what this particular decade measures. It seems like only yesterday that I met J, and yet, it’s bizarre to remember anything from the time before I knew him. Sometimes I find myself relaying some story of past antics to him, and I have to actively stop myself from saying, ‘Remember that time…,’ like he was there, because it feels like he’s always been with me, and I’ve subconsciously added him into the past he missed to correct it to how I wish it would’ve been. Even memories of good times before he was a fixture in my life feel strange, like they might have been someone else’s life. I guess that’s weird, but I accept that I’m weird. Anyway, prevailing cynicism says, ‘If people are really happy, you don’t hear about it.’ I’ve had cynical people in my life call me a fake, or say I’m deluded when I talk about J. Maybe I am delusional…I mean, I admit I put him into places in my memories he couldn’t have really been fairly often. I really DO feel incredibly blessed and proud to be his wife, though, and I don’t think being happily married means I’m in denial about reality. I know a social media update is a trite and inadequate way to make a big deal out of celebrating 10 years of marriage with the love of my life, but we’re not really party people, and dude paid off our house this year {blog readers on my author page…J paid off our HOUSE right before our 10th anniversary…seriously}, so what could I possibly do to equal a gift like financial emancipation? I mean, I have to make a new ‘List’, because the guy keeps on literally making dreams come true. I can’t compete with that. All I’ve got is embarrassing him with wordy, sentimental prose on social media.
I love you, J. Only four or five more decades to go and you really WILL be a part of every story I can remember and want to retell. Ten years flew by. 

And I wrote this for our 11th anniversary, 3 years ago. This is the year I broke my leg right before our anniversary:

weddingsteel

Steel is used in heavy construction to make roads and skyscrapers, and to make car bodies and suburban homes. It’s also used to make tiny nuts and bolts and screws and nails to hold things together. And, according to Google, it’s the ‘traditional’ gift for an 11th wedding anniversary. I can’t ever come up with anything cool to buy for J. You’d think this year would be easy. He loves cars and tools and machines, and putting things together, and he’s good at it…steel everywhere. But instead, like every other year, I can’t really decide what or how much to buy, because nothing ever feels right and good enough, and I’m left just humiliating him with sentiment on social media. He is strong and versatile like steel, and just like steel, he goes largely unnoticed as the everyday hero because he’s quiet and doesn’t demand any attention. He really does love me at my worst, and I’m an acquired taste at my best. He built all the good things I have in life with me, and a lot of the time, he is quite literally the tiny little fasteners that hold me together. And *I* notice all of his everyday heroic deeds, even though he doesn’t ask for any credit.
J, I am grateful every day to be your wife. Thank you for loving me in any condition and under any circumstance.

More past anniversary writings to come in the next couple of days.

1 thought on “The Honeymoon Phase

  1. Love your “anniversary week”

    Like

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