THIS IS A WORK OF ORIGINAL FICTION
It will be serialized over the next several days…the ending will be marked in the classic styling…
Subject: Apps and Dogs
Alzheimer’s disease indeed sucks. There’s nothing more to say about it.
I hope I get to introduce you to Bama football. Best. Mascot. Ever. 😀
The first app I wrote was a voice recording alarm. It started out as a separate device (not even on a phone) for Nanna for her medication reminders. A standard alarm wasn’t good enough with her in the early stages of disease, when she could still sort of manage on her own. The alarm would sound, and she’d know it was for something important, but forget the ‘something important’ was her pills. Or she’d remember she needed a pill, but she’d take the wrong ones at the wrong times. The thing I made could record my dad saying, ‘Time for the two orange pills, Mom,’ and that’s what would go off instead of just beeping, and Dad could do six different messages to go off at six different times. Android liked it enough to buy it. The second one is less serious. My buddies from school and I go to a couple of Tide football games a year together, and we take dumb photos of us tailgating. If you use a standard red-eye removal filter when everyone in the picture’s wearing red, it screws the whole photo up. So then you have to zoom and edit, and it was tedious, and I’m kinda lazy (probably bad to admit that), so I wrote a ‘smart’ red-eye filter that only removes red from rounded shapes. So unless you’re perfectly spherical or oval-shaped in your Tide sweatshirt, or you’re wearing a clown nose, only the eyes lose the red. And I wrote some analytics stuff for a couple of blog hosting sites. You know…country of origin of viewers…how many views…percentage of viewers engaged. That one’s not special, but it’s still one of many being used.
Now I feel like you think I’m trying to build myself up with the service projects. I swear I’m not. I don’t do them to impress people. I do them to feel like I’m doing something more worthy than removing the flash problems in selfies.
I love dogs! I haven’t had a dog since I’ve lived on my own, but I always had them growing up. And cats. No turtles or chinchillas, though. But, you know…whatever you like. I’m cool with adopting animals. Wild animals belong in the wild, though. Especially snakes. I can’t date a woman with a pet snake. Please tell me you’d never adopt a snake. Please. Seriously. (I know it’s not manly, but snakes freak me the hell out.)
I didn’t bring your dogs up because I don’t find a woman having pets ‘intriguing,’ and that’s what we started talking about. ‘Intriguing’ things. Having pets is pretty ordinary. Right? Can your dogs fly an airplane like Snoopy and shit? That would be intriguing. (Can they?) The only thing that concerns me about your dogs is that if I ever get to meet you in person, they have to like me. I know how it works. Dogs don’t like me, I’m history. 😉 What are your dogs’ names? Can I see a picture of them too? I bet you have a couple (thousand.) 😉
Subject: You’re an enabler!! 😉
You want to see dog pictures?!?! Are you for real?! You asked for this…attached please find 4 dog photos. One of Marge (first one), one of Homer (second one), one of both of them, and one of them with me. (I’m not a crazy dog lady. But I do love them. And they’re super cute, so I take a lot of photos.) 🙂
I totally think it’s nothing short of fantastic that you wrote those apps, and instead of just sitting back to wallow in success, you spend your time helping others now. I do a lot of service projects, but I have a bit of an inside line to them, because I work for a charity. The fact that you went out on your own to do these things is truly admirable.
The mutts can’t fly an airplane. They mostly just wag their tails and beg for human food. And while I have an appreciation for all God’s creatures, there’s no way there will ever be a snake in my house on purpose. Ever. So you’re safe there. Also, Indiana Jones is a classically masculine hero and he’s afraid of snakes, so…maybe don’t be too down on yourself about that. ‘Manly’ isn’t really an objectively measured trait, and like…I don’t really care to measure it even if it was. 🙂
Subject: 3 more
You should adopt 3 new kittens or puppies (or some combination) and name them Bart, Lisa, and Maggie. It’s only right. It’s almost your duty to complete the family. 😀
(I love the dogs’ names, if you couldn’t tell. They are ‘super cute!’)
Too soon to ask you out for dinner? If it is, forget I asked, and I’ll wait a couple more messages/days/weeks/whatever. 🙂
Don’t tempt me! I think about getting more animals almost daily. I can’t get more in my apartment though. It wouldn’t be good for them or me.
I’d love to meet you for dinner. But I should tell you something private about myself before we go to a restaurant together. I’m a Type I diabetic. Most of the time, I’m totally fine, and everything is completely under control. But I have to check my blood glucose right before and right after eating every meal. I would never do it right at a table in front of you, but just so you wouldn’t question mysterious trips to the ladies’ room immediately prior to and when we finish eating…you know…that’s fair to tell you. I don’t have an eating disorder. Or a drug problem. Or another secret partner I’m checking in with to not cause suspicion. I have an auto-immune disease. And also, I should tell you, there are some instances when it becomes harder to manage. I don’t anticipate ‘hard to manage’ while I’m out with you, but again…just trying to be honest and fair to you. Hope you still want to meet up.
Would you rather do something else besides go out to eat? I only suggested ‘dinner’ because that’s a safe, universally acceptable (I thought) first date. We could do something else. I’d rather not do a movie, because you can’t really talk to a person during a movie, but I’m up for suggestions. Art museum? Hockey game? It’s cold out, I know, but ever been snow tubing? You choose what we do.
Leanne smiled at his thoughtfulness. He showed immediate concern for her, without really meeting her yet, which was more than Kyle had given her for most of their time together. Perhaps ever. His concern wasn’t patronizing, though. He didn’t give her, ‘It must be so hard for you…’ or ‘I can only imagine how tough it is to cope…’ He seemed undaunted by her illness. Kyle did at first too; he even helped her through a rather scary low blood sugar episode once in their early days together, so her optimism about Jim was tempered by her previous disappointment. But it was still there.
I’m ok with dinner. We can save that other stuff for future dates…maybe? 🙂
Do you like Asian food?
‘Future dates.’ You bet. I’ll start a list…art museum…hockey game…snow tubing…TBD… 😀
Hope I don’t screw up ‘future dates’ on the first one. O.o
I love Asian food! Chinese, Japanese, Korean BBQ, Indian, or Thai? Or something else I’ve never had? That’s fine too. I like trying new stuff. 🙂
I like the Thai place on Catalina Highway. I’m too afraid to eat the spicy dishes, though. Too hot for me! When would you like to meet?
Free tomorrow evening? 7 too early? Or too late? I know you might have to eat at a certain time or something, so tell me what time. That’s a huge advantage of working for myself. The boss always lets me leave whenever I want to. 😉
7 tomorrow is perfect. See you then!
LJ: I HAVE A DATE TOMORROW NIGHT!!! WITH THE CUTE GUY!!! 😀
SW: YAY! 🙂 Told you to freakin’ open it. 😉 Can’t wait to hear about it after tomorrow!