A Little Bit of Happiness

Tomorrow is a big day for our family.

We’re getting a puppy. This is what he looks like…

grover

When he becomes a Big Boy, we estimate he’s going to look something like this…

I’m excited and happy about this, but also nervous and feeling a lot of conflicting things, because I’ve never had a puppy before and it’s been about 30 years since J has had one. It’s been a year and a half since we lost our dog, and today’s been a lot of mixed emotions. I still miss her. I sort of feel guilty for getting another dog. But also…I already love our little fella and I wish he already lived with us and we didn’t have to wait until tomorrow for him to be here.

I hope I’m a good puppy mom; I’m nervous I’m going to mess up and not be good at it, almost like bringing home a new baby. I’m grateful that we can get another dog and take good care of another dog and love another dog. I might be posting a lot of puppy photos and adventures in the next couple of weeks. Or I might be totally silent because I’m New Baby In The House Busy. Who knows?

But I did just want to share this news here on the blog to not only explain my writing absences of late, and to work through my residual grief from our best girl, but also to share a little bit of happiness. J and The Boy and I could use a little bit of happiness. Days are running together. Everything has been on this endless loop where things are (seemingly contradictory and nonsensically) consistently chaotic and uncertain and weird and anxiety tinged (or sometimes anxiety marinated). But tomorrow, we’re going to get a puppy, and a little bit of unadulterated joy. Tomorrow’s going to be added to this list. 

So now, I’m going to listen to Tomorrow, from the musical Annie, which was just sent to me by a friend, and keep trying to reconcile missing my old girl and looking forward to the happiness that’s assuredly headed my way tomorrow.
And then I’m going to listen to Eric Hutchinson’s Best Days. And I’m going to think about how many great days I’ve had and how many more great days there are ahead of me, including tomorrow.
And then I’m gonna listen to Grant Lee Phillips’ Good Morning Happiness. And I’ll think about getting puppy cuddles tomorrow. What a fine day.

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